Domestic Violence
Domestic violence constitutes the willful intimidation, assault, battery, sexual assault
or other abusive behavior perpetrated by one family member, household member,
or intimate partner against another. In Texas, the common child, or, persons in a
dating relationship.

Domestic violence is about power, and control. The abuser wants to dominate the
victim/survivor and wants all the power in the relationship and uses violence in
order to establish and maintain authority and power. Perpetrators of domestic
violence are usually not sick or deranged but have learned abusive, manipulative
techniques and behaviors that allow them to dominate and control others to obtain
the responses they desire.

An abuser will often restrict a victims outlets, forbidding the victim to maintain
outside employment, friends, and family ties. This has an isolating effect , leaving
the victims with no support system, and creating dependency. Abusers also limit a
survivor's options by not allowing access to checking accounts, credit cards or
other sources of money or financial independence.

Perpetrator of domestic violence may constantly criticize, belittle, and humiliate their
partners causing the victim to feel worthless, ugly, stupid, and crazy. Low self-
esteem may contribute to a victims feeling they deserve the abuse affecting their
ability to see themselves as being entitled to better treatment.

Some victims, because of the chronic nature of the violence may develop Post
traumatic Stress Disorder, a mental health disorder characterized by flashbacks,
significant anxiety, depression and fatigue. Escalating violence is inevitable as
many victims must become emotionally unavailable or must physically leave in order
to survive.

Suggestions For Domestic Violence Survivors
  • If you are a victim of domestic violence, please call the Victim Assistance
    Centre. We want to help you! Call (713)755-5625
  • Create a safety plan
  • Consider legal options available to you in Texas which include filing an
    application for a civil protective order that prohibits contact between and
    abuser and a victim.

In 2008, 136 women in Texas were murdered by their partner
Check List: Warning Signs of Domestic Violence

Does your partner:

  • Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
  • Put down your accomplishments or goals?
  • Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
  • Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
  • Tell you that you are nothing without them?
  • Treat you roughly- grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
  • Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said
    you'd  be?
  • Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things to you?
  • Blame you for how they feel or act?
  • Pressure you sexually for things you are not ready for?
  • Make you feel like there "is no way out" of the relationship?
  • Prevent you from doing things you want - spending time with your friends or
    family?
  • Keep you from leaving or leave you somewhere "to teach you a lesson"?

Do You...
  • Sometimes feel scared by the way your partner acts?
  • Constantly make excuses to other people for your partners behavior?
  • Believe that you could help your partner change if only you changed something
    about yourself?
  • Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
  • Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
  • Always do what your partner wants you to do rather that what you want?
  • Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if
    you broke up?
Domestic Violence: Safety Plan Guidelines

Personal Safety If You Are In An Abusive Relationship:

Identify your partner's use and level of force so that you can assess danger to
you and to your children before it occurs.
Identify safe areas of the house where there are no weapons and where there
are always ways to escape. If arguments occur, try to move close to those areas.
Don't run to where the children are as your partner may hurt them as well.
If violence is unavoidable, make yourself a small target; dive into a corner and
curl up into a ball with your face protected and arms around each side of your
head, fingers entwined.
If possible have a phone accessible at all times and know the numbers to call for
help. Know where the nearest pay phone is located. Know you local battered
women's shelter number. Don't be afraid to call the police.
Let trusted friends and neighbors know of your situation and develop a plan and
visual signal for when you need help.
Teach your children how to get help. Instruct them not to get involved in the
violence between you and your partner. Plan a code word to signal to them that
they should get help or leave the house.
Practice how to get out safely. Practice safety plan with your children.
Keep weapons like guns and knives locked up and as inaccessible as possible.
Make a habit of backing the car into the driveway and keeping it fueled. Keep
the driver's door unlocked and other's locked for a quick escape.
Try not to wear scarves or long jewelry that could be used to strangle you.
Create several reasons for leaving the house at different times of the day or
night. Call a domestic violence hot-line periodically to assess your options and
get a supportive understanding ear.
Domestic Violence: Safety Plan Guidelines Leaving the Relations

Pack clothes for you and your children and store them at a trusted friend
or neighbor's house.

Try to avoid using next-door neighbor's, close family members and mutual friends;

Take with you:

  • Important phone numbers of friends, relatives, doctors, school, etc.
  • Driver's license;
  • Credit cards if you have access to them;
  • Pay stubs, checkbook, bank account information, titles to property and
    deeds;
  • Citizenship documents (such as your passport, green card, etc.
  • Medical records;
  • Children's school and immunization records;
  • Insurance information;
  • Copy of marriage license, birth certificates, will, and other legal documents;
  • Verification of social security numbers;
  • Welfare identification; and
  • Sentimental pictures, jewelry, or personal possessions
  • Create a false trail. Call motels, real estate agencies, and schools in a town
    at least six hours away from where you plan to relocate. Ask questions that
    require a call back to you house in order to leave phone numbers on record.
  • Hide an extra set of car keys

After Leaving an Abusive Relationship

  • Change locks and phone numbers
  • Change work hours and route taken to work and routes taken to transport
    children to school.
  • Keep a certified copy of your restraining order with you at all times;
  • Inform friends, neighbors and employers that you have a restraining order in
    effect;
  • Give copies of restraining order to employers, neighbors, and schools along
    with a picture of the offender.
  • Call law enforcement to enforce the order when you leave:
  • Consider renting a post office box or using the address of a friend for your
    mail;
  • Alert school authorities of situation; consider changing your children's school
  • Install a lighting system that lights up when a person is coming close to the
    house (motion sensitive lights)
  • Call the telephone company to request caller ID. Ask that you phone number
    be blocked so that if you call, neither your partner nor anyone else will be
    able to get your new, unlisted phone number.